Plus The Psychology of My Back Pain
I’m seeing an acupuncturist…
In September, I’m stupidly running in my weighted boots and do my back in! Even though my long time companion, lower back pain, has been successfully treated by lots of things over the years – osteopathy, chiropractic, kinesiology, massage therapy, natural anti-inflammatories (eg turmeric), essential oils and more…
…this time I have an intuitive hit to experience the needles!
The reason why I am actually listening to my intuition in the first place is because of Covid! Everything has shut down! The gym, BNI, meetings… I’m not as busy, racing about, doing, doing, doing. I now know that being constantly busy with no time for reflection (or Yin in the Yang of our lives), is the enemy of intuition!
I am in the habit of being busy. Thinking, planning, strategising, worrying, are my go-to hobbies! Intuition is a feeling thing and you don’t feel it if you’re in your head.
All the restrictions lately have given me and many others the excuse we need to slow down and quieten our minds enough to LISTEN!
The beautiful thing about this is that, with the help of the acupuncturist, I discover my back pain relates to huge tension in my lower back! While this is not revolutionary, I also discover that the tension is due to fear. The kidney energy located in the middle and lower back relates to fear. Like many people I have fear around security.
Like everyone I know, I’ve had experiences in my past which resulted in me not feeling safe. But, instead of feeling the fear, letting it flood my body and get released, my avoidance strategy is to never slow down…
…I don’t have to experience feeling afraid if I’m too busy to go there. The result for me is bending over backwards for everyone else. Like so many other women I know, I have experienced:
- Never being there for myself, always trying to please everyone else.
- Not knowing what I want
- Difficulty in making decisions especially if it’s related to what I want
- Not being a stand for myself
- Giving my power over to others.
I’m not consciously aware of any of this until the yoga nidra, mindful body scans, gentle conversations, automatic writing and the acupuncture that are helping me through it. AND the 4am wake up calls. This is the golden time for me to connect to my higher self rather than frustratingly waiting for the alarm to go off.
Last night I taught Yin Yoga at Virgin Active and I took it really easy. This morning I’m in pain. I’m not out of the woods yet but I’m thoroughly enjoying the discovery of myself on the journey.
Once I’ve mastered the inner game, I can be as busy as I like, it’s just that I’ll be calling the shots, doing what I want to do and living my own authentic, original life!
Love & kindness to you xx
Brenda Rogers is a naturopath specialising in women’s health at midlife. She is the Menopause Naturopath helping women plot their path to wellness so they can uncover who they are.
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